There Is Joy...

Recently, I have learned that there is joy in waiting. There is joy when you are waiting on God to do whatever He needs to do in your life. No, I don't know how a lot of things in my life are going to work out, but I do know that they will work out for the best.

I'm learning to relinquish my control, and to let God have His way in my life. Things go a lot better that way.

What I encourage you to do today is to simply trust the Lord and the plans He has for your life. If things don't go the way you think they will, stay calm. It is okay. If it takes a little longer to get to where you know God has called you, stay calm; it is okay.

God ALWAYS has the perfect plan and He won't fail you and He won't let you down.

No worries love. It always works out. Always.

"Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7


Stay Beautiful!

Ayanna


Instagram: @ayannatillyy
Facebook: Depths Of Beauty or Ayanna Tillman

Desperate Times

Sometimes, you can come to a place in life where it seems like you're running in slow motion. It's like everything has slowed down around you. Not necessarily, the eye in the middle of a storm, but just a place where you know God is there, you know He loves...at times you feel so close to Him and there are other times where He just seems so far away.

If you ever get to the point where it seems like all of your struggles are attacking you all at once, don't condemn yourself. Don't play the victim. Don't prolong staying in your puddle of tears. Get up. Brush yourself off and repent. Repent. Pray. And ask for forgiveness and run straight in your Savior's arms. Know that this is happening for a reason - your back-slidden moments. Know that these times will not overcome you, but somehow make you into the person you need to be. You will gain wisdom from this. Satan only wants to see you at your worst, but know that God sees you at your best and He speaks into your potential.
"The God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet. The grace of our Lord Jesus be with you." Romans 16:20

In the moments it seems like no one understands, including yourself - God understands. He knows. You're not alone.


Keep your head up beautiful. Sunshine is just right around the corner.

Ayanna

D.O.B. Facebook Page!

Hey y'all! DOB has an official facebook page up and running! I encourage you to go like it and tell your lovely friends about!

Let's spread the love and truth of Christ!!


Stay Beautiful!


Ayanna

https://www.facebook.com/ayannatilly?ref=bookmarks

Humans Fail; God Prevails

Sometimes, I am caught off guard as to why I am still surprised when humans hurt me. It may not necessarily be the person who is trying to hurt me, but the spirit.
"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." Ephesians 6:12
Therefore, we have to pray for the ones who hurt us deeply. We have to work through our flesh and sinful desires and pray and love on them like Christ does for us. We are fighting against the powers of evil and darkness and spirits that want nothing to do with Christ. That's why sometimes we have to be able to discern why we're going through a certain situation. We have to pray and forgive the ones who hurt us, because in the end, they may be hurting way worse than we are. We want the love of Christ to fall upon them to heal and restore them also. Following Christ isn't a selfish thing...we always follow Christ even when it's hard.

It is a given fact that when we are living in this life, people will hurt us and we will hurt others too, because of our sinful nature. Some of us probably know this by now. I hear a lot of young people from our generation talking about how many trust issues they have and how they trust no one but themselves. Well, that may sound appealing...even for me, but when we don't trust anyone because of the hurt that other people caused and in result, we claim that we trust ourselves solely...that only leads to more hurt. Did you know that if we put trust in ourselves, we will only fail ourselves too? We need to first put our trust in Christ.

Why do we put our trust in Christ?:
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones." Proverbs 3:5-8

We put our trust in Christ, because He's the only one who will consistently, whole-heartedly do right by us all the days of our lives. He's the One who knows what is best for us, that why we seek Him first above all things. But, it's hard right? To put your trust in a God whom you have never seen and have maybe never heard? I bet it's especially hard to put your trust in God when everyone else has hurt you, disappointed you, and let you down plenty of times before. I've been where you are and quite frankly, I still struggle with that...but it's always a work in progress. The good thing is, you can start today and never give up.

One thing (or many things) about God is that:
1.) He's not human
2.) He's perfect
3.) He has no sinful nature
4.) He loves us
5.) He cares for us so deeply

"No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you." Joshua 1:5

There's plenty of other wonderful, awesome things I can tell you about Christ, but those are just a few, so you can understand where I am coming from. God won't hurt us. Ever. Now, He won't let sin go unpunished, and He will convict us, but He'll convict us in love. When humans fail you, God will always prevail. Jesus will always be there to pick you up when you fall. I understand sometimes after you've been hurt, it's hard to trust anything and anybody...God wants to restore us instead of hurt us. God will help you put all the broken pieces back together, He will restore all of the relationships and friendships in your lives. Although, if that friendship is not good for you in getting closer to God, you most likely will have to let that go. But, if it's in the Lord's will to restore and repair, then He will do so.

God always heals our broken hearts when we give Him all that we have. It may seem at times that He doesn't hear our prayers or that He's not listening, but He really is! He listens to us, because He loves us! He loves us so much!

So, the next time you catch yourself feeling down over something someone did to you, don't hold a grudge against them, for that will only lead to bitterness and the hardening of your heart against Christ. Instead, pray for them. Pray that God will come into their heart and work in them. Pray for peace in that person's heart, and most importantly, forgive that person, because God first forgave you. It won't be easy at all, but before you pray for that person, you can always ask God to give you the grace to pray for this person without any negativity in your heart.

It's not easy living in this world filled with sin and strive, and it's especially not easy living in this world when you want to live for Jesus and everyone else wants to live for the world. But take heart my dear, for Jesus has overcome the world. John 16:33.

Even when you fail, God will still prevail. So, don't get discouraged, don't lose your peace, and definitely, don't let anyone take away the joy that only Jesus can give. Others can assume what they want about you, but only the Lord knows what truly lies in your heart.

Stay beautiful y'all.

Ayanna

To The Parents Of.

Dear Parents,

When I say parents, I am addressing any parent who has ever wanted a wonderful, well-balanced, successful life for their children. What parent wouldn’t want that for their children? It’s not a bad thing at all.

I’ve been observing some things for a while, and now that I am out “on my own” as far as that can mean, I have noticed that it isn’t just me that struggles with the pressures and expectations parents seem to have on their children. I’ve talked to many students who say that they are pursuing a certain topic or career field because it makes a lot of money. Once you start to go into further conversation with that person or student and we get to the underlining meaning of why they are pursuing that career with a bunch of money, the reason that most student’s seem to tell me is because “it’s what my parents wanted”, “my parents told me to go down this path”, “it’ll make them happy”. Although, I am not a parent and cannot fathom the thoughts and worries of a mother or father, I can expand my mind to understand the perspectives and paths many parents want their children to go down. I understand that you all, as parents, want the best for your children. As do my parents.

More often than not, the career path you passive-aggressively, or straight-up force on your children can only go a couple of ways. Your child could rebel against you, or they could be the best child ever and do exactly what you say and do it exactly how you want it. Personally, no child wants to upset their parents, or disappoint them or let them down. But, when that kind of pressure and expectation is exuded on your child, it weighs them down. They may seem giddy and gung-ho, but on the inside, it stresses them and confuses them, because this career, this decision that you’ve essentially made for your child is causing them great turmoil on the inside. I know you just want the best for them, and I know that since “you are the parent”, you always know what’s best for your growing, independent, uniquely-made, born into a different generation child. Of course parents have so much wisdom that any smart child should abide by, but what I am conflicted by is when will that mom or dad step back and start to let their child make their decisions on their own without hovering or putting them in a bubble? Of course a parent is going to let their child make their “own decisions” if the parent themselves places that child/student into a bubble that they approve of. But, when will the parents realize that children (growing into young adults) have to make their own mistakes in life? As a parent, you are their guide and their decision maker up until a certain age. They are dependent on you, looking to you for all of the answers, but there comes a time when that child, typically when they move out and go to college, has to learn how to become an independent thinker and decision maker without always having their parents to rely on. Yes, parents will always be there to help their child, but it takes a little bit of give and take on both ends of the spectrum…

Especially when it comes to the child’s passions and dreams. Have you, as a parent, asked, really sat down and asked your child what their true God-given passions, talents, and dreams were? Have you given them that freedom of allowing them to express themselves and their minds without you bombarding them with what you think is best? Have you listened to everything their heart had to say without shooting them down and telling them that they can’t pursue their dream because you don’t approve and you think that X, Y, or Z is a better option? A better fit? I know it’s hard to do, but have you really started to see your son or daughter as a growing adult in the college realm making decisions, and as a person discovering who they are and just what their lives are for?

I get that a lot of young people don’t always know what they want to do, and they may need some guiding, advice, pushing towards one thing or the other. Or maybe your child does know what they want to do with their life, they’re just too afraid to tell you because 1. You won’t listen 2. You won’t approve 3. It won’t be your idea of a worldly success and 4. They are afraid of your reaction and will feel as though you believe they are rebelling against you, and I promise you, if you haven’t had any problems out of them before and you have raised them as God-fearing people, they’re not trying or going to rebel against you. They admire and respect you way too much for that.

After talking with my peers, I’ve realized that a lot of young people in my generation are more often than not so highly pressured to pursue goals, aspirations, and dreams that will amount to status, fortune, fame, and worldly desire, and most times, those dreams and goals that are being pushed on them are the dreams and goal, you as parents wanted for yourselves and you desire so much for your child to be a better person than what you were. I can’t speak for all of the youth, but if your child has any idea or inking of just what you have done to provide, protect, love and teach them under comfortable, non-worrying circumstances, and they know that God comes first above all things, I can guarantee you that you will not have to worry about their personal success etc.

When you push your children to a place, a career, a goal, a motive they have no passion, no interest, no anything about, it pushes them away on a certain degree. It puts strain and stress on them. Why wouldn’t you tell your child to pursue their passion or to go after what they’ve loved and been talented at their whole lives? Why would you discourage them from their calling? Why would you say no when God has said yes? Why would you tell them that their dreams and passions are stupid and unachievable? Why would you tell them that it’s not good enough or that it doesn’t make enough money? Why can’t they defy the odds and go after what Jesus wants for once?

After all, wouldn’t you want your child to take part in being the advocate for change for this society? What is a success? There is a distinct difference in being a success in the world’s eyes and being a success in the eyes of God. Yes, you know this right? Because you’re the adult? You’re older? You know more?

No, I am not being a smart-ellec. I’m just curious. I’m just frustrated. I’m just passionate and I just want to know why? Why won’t you let your kids do what God has called them to do?

There’s a lot to be afraid of. This world is so crazy, but God would never take them to a place where He will not cover or protect them. Sometimes, as we grow older, we lose our faith; we lose our child-like faith Jesus tells us to have.

Where is your faith? Why don’t you believe what God has called them to be? Why don’t you see that your child is destined for greatness? It’s just not the greatness that you may have perceived. God has His own way of doing things and they won’t go how you planned for your child and they won’t go how your child planned, but God is Sovereign and He remains faithful and in the end, that’s all that really matters.

When your child has enough confidence to finally tell you what their passions are, don’t shut them down and don’t discourage them. They might just end up changing the world.

Be open-minded and rely on God as you and your college student slowly and carefully make the steps into moving forward in the future. It won’t be easy for you parents, because it’s hard to see your children grow up and go off on their own. Just be confident in the fact that you raised them to be amazing people and if you trust God, that won’t fail.

Sincerely,

The young adults of those parents

STOP THE CROP TOPS MOVEMENT!

I understand that it can be difficult not to conform in this society...especially living as young women for Christ. I understand that some of the clothes that we see in the stores at the malls can sometimes be appealing or attractive to us, but that doesn't necessarily mean that those clothes are appropriate for us to wear out in public.

We have to remember that our bodies are the temple for the Holy Spirit. In all that we do, we want to bring glory to our Heavenly Father.

It's breaks my heart seeing our sisters in Christ (some believers and unbelievers) dress in a way that allows the opposite sex to lust after them. It breaks my heart that 1. some young women aren't aware of how they're dressing and the wrong signals that it's giving off and 2. some young women know exactly what they're getting into. They know exactly how they look. They like to wear the tight clothes with the booty shorts and with their stomachs exposed. It bothers me a lot, because I just want to tell every young woman out their that they are so beautiful and that they don't have to show all of their goods to get attention from males. I want them to see their worth for what it really is. I want to see the beauty inside of themselves.

I wrote this spoken word in hopes that young women will see that what they're doing to their bodies is not okay. That it's not okay to dress like promiscuous women. It's not okay for men to lust after their bodies like a piece of meat. I want them to see that there are standards that should be set. I want them to see that they are worth so much more than they could even fathom.

So, I am asking you and every other girl out there to take part in this movement and make a point to STOP THE CROP TOPS.

I want this to be a promise that me, you, we, us make between God and ourselves that we will honor, cherish, respect, and love our bodies. I want us to take in all accounts that we are daughters of the King and that we, therefore, should live up to such a wonderful title. Let's show God that we adore Him and obey Him in mind, body, spirit, and truth. So, next time you are tempted to wear an item of clothing that is a little too revealing, remember the promise you made to God and the paper you signed with you signature saying that you will honor your body.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 "Do you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body."

Below is the link to the promise:
*Print it out and hang it on your mirror as a reminder to you every day (:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/15wtkRu84eVIB8nsFOfneo6-2CIp3IkbCS19Sb8PmOP4/edit?usp=sharing

Here is Stop The Crop Tops Spoken Word:

What's More Important?

When it comes to choosing a college, or for parents, when it comes to helping pick out a school for your child, what's more important for them to have? Spiritual growth or academic growth? In most instances, many parents would say that they want their kid to have a healthy balance of growing in their faith and having the best academia world there is. So, what happens when (in the parent's viewpoint) there's only one option to choose from? Do you choose the "lesser" school that has an incredible organization that can help your kid grow deeper with Christ, or do you choose the school that is moving up in rankings just so they can have a "secure" future? In a utopian society, both would be great, but realistically speaking, there's only one option, unless one just knows of a school where there's both involved. If so, great, but for this post, there's only one option.

Currently, I feel as though I'm in that situation where I'm at this "prestigious" school that's known for its small, quaint, liberal arts education where it's almost embedded in every student to speak their mind, to speak up for themselves. In all honestly, I feel like I'm not at college, but rather in a boarding school for all girls that's only less than an hour away from home. (That's besides the point). Anyway, I look around and I see many girls who, I'm guessing, want to do something with their life. Maybe. Maybe not. I'm surrounded by girls who are highly about LGBTQ (something like that), and girls who like to party, smoke, and drink, and girls who just have filthy mouths, especially when it comes to the subject of boys and the usage of their precious bodies. I am not judging anyone here. I accept them all. I love them all. I am simply trying to make a point. No, not all of the girls are like that, but the vast majority that I have seen, are. (I'm just stating my opinion). I feel alone here. I feel lost, and spiritually hungry. Spiritually empty. Granted, there is one or two christian clubs, one that I'm apart of. But, there are certain levels of growth that all christians experience. I seem to be in the in-between stage: I'm not a baby-christian anymore...I know the basics, but I'm also, not up there with let's say Joyce Meyer or Francis Chan lol. Not that I aspire to be like them, it's just for illustration purposes. I seem to be stuck right in the middle where I'm just little ole me. Little ole Ayanna, desperately searching and looking for something more. Yes, I still pray and spend time with God. Yes, I journal. But, I'm looking for that intense growth that helps me and guides me in becoming all who God wants me to be. I want to be trained on how to be a discple. I want to be involved with a group of people, not just my peers, but older adults who are mature in the faith who can mentor and help me. I can't walk this walk alone.

It's hard. It's very hard. And most, if not every day, is very lonely. What I'm looking for, I don't have here. Yes, I have the academics, but is it really all that it's cracked up to be if you're spiritually dead inside? Of course, I see the perfect opportunity for God to use me as His vessel to witness and love on all of these girls around me, but there comes a time where you get burnt out. Where you get weak. Who do you turn to when that happens? To others who don't know me, my life, or my walk? I could potentially go to the girls in the christian club I'm in, yet still, I don't fit in with them either.

This post isn't me throwing a pity party or me complaining about this or that, I'm just trying to make a point and use my life as an example. Would a parent really take the risk in sending their child to a "lesser" school and have the ability to know that they will come out just as spiritually sound and strong as ever? Where's the priority?

To anyone of you beautiful girls that are in the transition of trying to find a college that is best for you, and you care about growing in your faith in Christ, my advice to you is that you try to find somewhere in the middle, a balance. But, if you can't find that, I say pray about your decision on where you should go to school, which should first be done before taking any action. Follow God's guidance. But most importantly, find and/or choose the school where you know you'll be able to flourish as a young soldier in the Lord's Army. Choose a place where they have spiritual, genuinely, Biblical support that will help you in your transition with school, adult life, and spiritual life. It is essential to have that when you're starting out. No, I'm not saying academics aren't important, I'm just trying to convey that you need to be spiritually sound and spiritually challenged wherever you go. You're going to need help in your walk and know that you cannot do it alone. Jesus knew that, that's why we are called the Body of Christ. That's why we have brothers and sisters in Christ. It's always great to strive to do your best, to strive for excellence and achieve greatness, in which you should because we are children of the King, but just be aware about where you want to go and what's really important in your life, and most importantly, be aware about what God is calling you to do. Because if He's saying go this way or go here, go. No matter what people say. (I know it's WAY easier said than done, trust me, but God gives us grace).

Just remember that, in the end, only what we do for Christ will last.

Stay beautiful.

Ayanna