When it comes to choosing a college, or for parents, when it comes to helping pick out a school for your child, what's more important for them to have? Spiritual growth or academic growth? In most instances, many parents would say that they want their kid to have a healthy balance of growing in their faith and having the best academia world there is. So, what happens when (in the parent's viewpoint) there's only one option to choose from? Do you choose the "lesser" school that has an incredible organization that can help your kid grow deeper with Christ, or do you choose the school that is moving up in rankings just so they can have a "secure" future? In a utopian society, both would be great, but realistically speaking, there's only one option, unless one just knows of a school where there's both involved. If so, great, but for this post, there's only one option.
Currently, I feel as though I'm in that situation where I'm at this "prestigious" school that's known for its small, quaint, liberal arts education where it's almost embedded in every student to speak their mind, to speak up for themselves. In all honestly, I feel like I'm not at college, but rather in a boarding school for all girls that's only less than an hour away from home. (That's besides the point). Anyway, I look around and I see many girls who, I'm guessing, want to do something with their life. Maybe. Maybe not. I'm surrounded by girls who are highly about LGBTQ (something like that), and girls who like to party, smoke, and drink, and girls who just have filthy mouths, especially when it comes to the subject of boys and the usage of their precious bodies. I am not judging anyone here. I accept them all. I love them all. I am simply trying to make a point. No, not all of the girls are like that, but the vast majority that I have seen, are. (I'm just stating my opinion). I feel alone here. I feel lost, and spiritually hungry. Spiritually empty. Granted, there is one or two christian clubs, one that I'm apart of. But, there are certain levels of growth that all christians experience. I seem to be in the in-between stage: I'm not a baby-christian anymore...I know the basics, but I'm also, not up there with let's say Joyce Meyer or Francis Chan lol. Not that I aspire to be like them, it's just for illustration purposes. I seem to be stuck right in the middle where I'm just little ole me. Little ole Ayanna, desperately searching and looking for something more. Yes, I still pray and spend time with God. Yes, I journal. But, I'm looking for that intense growth that helps me and guides me in becoming all who God wants me to be. I want to be trained on how to be a discple. I want to be involved with a group of people, not just my peers, but older adults who are mature in the faith who can mentor and help me. I can't walk this walk alone.
It's hard. It's very hard. And most, if not every day, is very lonely. What I'm looking for, I don't have here. Yes, I have the academics, but is it really all that it's cracked up to be if you're spiritually dead inside? Of course, I see the perfect opportunity for God to use me as His vessel to witness and love on all of these girls around me, but there comes a time where you get burnt out. Where you get weak. Who do you turn to when that happens? To others who don't know me, my life, or my walk? I could potentially go to the girls in the christian club I'm in, yet still, I don't fit in with them either.
This post isn't me throwing a pity party or me complaining about this or that, I'm just trying to make a point and use my life as an example. Would a parent really take the risk in sending their child to a "lesser" school and have the ability to know that they will come out just as spiritually sound and strong as ever? Where's the priority?
To anyone of you beautiful girls that are in the transition of trying to find a college that is best for you, and you care about growing in your faith in Christ, my advice to you is that you try to find somewhere in the middle, a balance. But, if you can't find that, I say pray about your decision on where you should go to school, which should first be done before taking any action. Follow God's guidance. But most importantly, find and/or choose the school where you know you'll be able to flourish as a young soldier in the Lord's Army. Choose a place where they have spiritual, genuinely, Biblical support that will help you in your transition with school, adult life, and spiritual life. It is essential to have that when you're starting out. No, I'm not saying academics aren't important, I'm just trying to convey that you need to be spiritually sound and spiritually challenged wherever you go. You're going to need help in your walk and know that you cannot do it alone. Jesus knew that, that's why we are called the Body of Christ. That's why we have brothers and sisters in Christ. It's always great to strive to do your best, to strive for excellence and achieve greatness, in which you should because we are children of the King, but just be aware about where you want to go and what's really important in your life, and most importantly, be aware about what God is calling you to do. Because if He's saying go this way or go here, go. No matter what people say. (I know it's WAY easier said than done, trust me, but God gives us grace).
Just remember that, in the end, only what we do for Christ will last.
Stay beautiful.
Ayanna
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