Desperate Times

Sometimes, you can come to a place in life where it seems like you're running in slow motion. It's like everything has slowed down around you. Not necessarily, the eye in the middle of a storm, but just a place where you know God is there, you know He loves...at times you feel so close to Him and there are other times where He just seems so far away.

If you ever get to the point where it seems like all of your struggles are attacking you all at once, don't condemn yourself. Don't play the victim. Don't prolong staying in your puddle of tears. Get up. Brush yourself off and repent. Repent. Pray. And ask for forgiveness and run straight in your Savior's arms. Know that this is happening for a reason - your back-slidden moments. Know that these times will not overcome you, but somehow make you into the person you need to be. You will gain wisdom from this. Satan only wants to see you at your worst, but know that God sees you at your best and He speaks into your potential.
"The God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet. The grace of our Lord Jesus be with you." Romans 16:20

In the moments it seems like no one understands, including yourself - God understands. He knows. You're not alone.


Keep your head up beautiful. Sunshine is just right around the corner.

Ayanna

D.O.B. Facebook Page!

Hey y'all! DOB has an official facebook page up and running! I encourage you to go like it and tell your lovely friends about!

Let's spread the love and truth of Christ!!


Stay Beautiful!


Ayanna

https://www.facebook.com/ayannatilly?ref=bookmarks

Humans Fail; God Prevails

Sometimes, I am caught off guard as to why I am still surprised when humans hurt me. It may not necessarily be the person who is trying to hurt me, but the spirit.
"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." Ephesians 6:12
Therefore, we have to pray for the ones who hurt us deeply. We have to work through our flesh and sinful desires and pray and love on them like Christ does for us. We are fighting against the powers of evil and darkness and spirits that want nothing to do with Christ. That's why sometimes we have to be able to discern why we're going through a certain situation. We have to pray and forgive the ones who hurt us, because in the end, they may be hurting way worse than we are. We want the love of Christ to fall upon them to heal and restore them also. Following Christ isn't a selfish thing...we always follow Christ even when it's hard.

It is a given fact that when we are living in this life, people will hurt us and we will hurt others too, because of our sinful nature. Some of us probably know this by now. I hear a lot of young people from our generation talking about how many trust issues they have and how they trust no one but themselves. Well, that may sound appealing...even for me, but when we don't trust anyone because of the hurt that other people caused and in result, we claim that we trust ourselves solely...that only leads to more hurt. Did you know that if we put trust in ourselves, we will only fail ourselves too? We need to first put our trust in Christ.

Why do we put our trust in Christ?:
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones." Proverbs 3:5-8

We put our trust in Christ, because He's the only one who will consistently, whole-heartedly do right by us all the days of our lives. He's the One who knows what is best for us, that why we seek Him first above all things. But, it's hard right? To put your trust in a God whom you have never seen and have maybe never heard? I bet it's especially hard to put your trust in God when everyone else has hurt you, disappointed you, and let you down plenty of times before. I've been where you are and quite frankly, I still struggle with that...but it's always a work in progress. The good thing is, you can start today and never give up.

One thing (or many things) about God is that:
1.) He's not human
2.) He's perfect
3.) He has no sinful nature
4.) He loves us
5.) He cares for us so deeply

"No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you." Joshua 1:5

There's plenty of other wonderful, awesome things I can tell you about Christ, but those are just a few, so you can understand where I am coming from. God won't hurt us. Ever. Now, He won't let sin go unpunished, and He will convict us, but He'll convict us in love. When humans fail you, God will always prevail. Jesus will always be there to pick you up when you fall. I understand sometimes after you've been hurt, it's hard to trust anything and anybody...God wants to restore us instead of hurt us. God will help you put all the broken pieces back together, He will restore all of the relationships and friendships in your lives. Although, if that friendship is not good for you in getting closer to God, you most likely will have to let that go. But, if it's in the Lord's will to restore and repair, then He will do so.

God always heals our broken hearts when we give Him all that we have. It may seem at times that He doesn't hear our prayers or that He's not listening, but He really is! He listens to us, because He loves us! He loves us so much!

So, the next time you catch yourself feeling down over something someone did to you, don't hold a grudge against them, for that will only lead to bitterness and the hardening of your heart against Christ. Instead, pray for them. Pray that God will come into their heart and work in them. Pray for peace in that person's heart, and most importantly, forgive that person, because God first forgave you. It won't be easy at all, but before you pray for that person, you can always ask God to give you the grace to pray for this person without any negativity in your heart.

It's not easy living in this world filled with sin and strive, and it's especially not easy living in this world when you want to live for Jesus and everyone else wants to live for the world. But take heart my dear, for Jesus has overcome the world. John 16:33.

Even when you fail, God will still prevail. So, don't get discouraged, don't lose your peace, and definitely, don't let anyone take away the joy that only Jesus can give. Others can assume what they want about you, but only the Lord knows what truly lies in your heart.

Stay beautiful y'all.

Ayanna

To The Parents Of.

Dear Parents,

When I say parents, I am addressing any parent who has ever wanted a wonderful, well-balanced, successful life for their children. What parent wouldn’t want that for their children? It’s not a bad thing at all.

I’ve been observing some things for a while, and now that I am out “on my own” as far as that can mean, I have noticed that it isn’t just me that struggles with the pressures and expectations parents seem to have on their children. I’ve talked to many students who say that they are pursuing a certain topic or career field because it makes a lot of money. Once you start to go into further conversation with that person or student and we get to the underlining meaning of why they are pursuing that career with a bunch of money, the reason that most student’s seem to tell me is because “it’s what my parents wanted”, “my parents told me to go down this path”, “it’ll make them happy”. Although, I am not a parent and cannot fathom the thoughts and worries of a mother or father, I can expand my mind to understand the perspectives and paths many parents want their children to go down. I understand that you all, as parents, want the best for your children. As do my parents.

More often than not, the career path you passive-aggressively, or straight-up force on your children can only go a couple of ways. Your child could rebel against you, or they could be the best child ever and do exactly what you say and do it exactly how you want it. Personally, no child wants to upset their parents, or disappoint them or let them down. But, when that kind of pressure and expectation is exuded on your child, it weighs them down. They may seem giddy and gung-ho, but on the inside, it stresses them and confuses them, because this career, this decision that you’ve essentially made for your child is causing them great turmoil on the inside. I know you just want the best for them, and I know that since “you are the parent”, you always know what’s best for your growing, independent, uniquely-made, born into a different generation child. Of course parents have so much wisdom that any smart child should abide by, but what I am conflicted by is when will that mom or dad step back and start to let their child make their decisions on their own without hovering or putting them in a bubble? Of course a parent is going to let their child make their “own decisions” if the parent themselves places that child/student into a bubble that they approve of. But, when will the parents realize that children (growing into young adults) have to make their own mistakes in life? As a parent, you are their guide and their decision maker up until a certain age. They are dependent on you, looking to you for all of the answers, but there comes a time when that child, typically when they move out and go to college, has to learn how to become an independent thinker and decision maker without always having their parents to rely on. Yes, parents will always be there to help their child, but it takes a little bit of give and take on both ends of the spectrum…

Especially when it comes to the child’s passions and dreams. Have you, as a parent, asked, really sat down and asked your child what their true God-given passions, talents, and dreams were? Have you given them that freedom of allowing them to express themselves and their minds without you bombarding them with what you think is best? Have you listened to everything their heart had to say without shooting them down and telling them that they can’t pursue their dream because you don’t approve and you think that X, Y, or Z is a better option? A better fit? I know it’s hard to do, but have you really started to see your son or daughter as a growing adult in the college realm making decisions, and as a person discovering who they are and just what their lives are for?

I get that a lot of young people don’t always know what they want to do, and they may need some guiding, advice, pushing towards one thing or the other. Or maybe your child does know what they want to do with their life, they’re just too afraid to tell you because 1. You won’t listen 2. You won’t approve 3. It won’t be your idea of a worldly success and 4. They are afraid of your reaction and will feel as though you believe they are rebelling against you, and I promise you, if you haven’t had any problems out of them before and you have raised them as God-fearing people, they’re not trying or going to rebel against you. They admire and respect you way too much for that.

After talking with my peers, I’ve realized that a lot of young people in my generation are more often than not so highly pressured to pursue goals, aspirations, and dreams that will amount to status, fortune, fame, and worldly desire, and most times, those dreams and goals that are being pushed on them are the dreams and goal, you as parents wanted for yourselves and you desire so much for your child to be a better person than what you were. I can’t speak for all of the youth, but if your child has any idea or inking of just what you have done to provide, protect, love and teach them under comfortable, non-worrying circumstances, and they know that God comes first above all things, I can guarantee you that you will not have to worry about their personal success etc.

When you push your children to a place, a career, a goal, a motive they have no passion, no interest, no anything about, it pushes them away on a certain degree. It puts strain and stress on them. Why wouldn’t you tell your child to pursue their passion or to go after what they’ve loved and been talented at their whole lives? Why would you discourage them from their calling? Why would you say no when God has said yes? Why would you tell them that their dreams and passions are stupid and unachievable? Why would you tell them that it’s not good enough or that it doesn’t make enough money? Why can’t they defy the odds and go after what Jesus wants for once?

After all, wouldn’t you want your child to take part in being the advocate for change for this society? What is a success? There is a distinct difference in being a success in the world’s eyes and being a success in the eyes of God. Yes, you know this right? Because you’re the adult? You’re older? You know more?

No, I am not being a smart-ellec. I’m just curious. I’m just frustrated. I’m just passionate and I just want to know why? Why won’t you let your kids do what God has called them to do?

There’s a lot to be afraid of. This world is so crazy, but God would never take them to a place where He will not cover or protect them. Sometimes, as we grow older, we lose our faith; we lose our child-like faith Jesus tells us to have.

Where is your faith? Why don’t you believe what God has called them to be? Why don’t you see that your child is destined for greatness? It’s just not the greatness that you may have perceived. God has His own way of doing things and they won’t go how you planned for your child and they won’t go how your child planned, but God is Sovereign and He remains faithful and in the end, that’s all that really matters.

When your child has enough confidence to finally tell you what their passions are, don’t shut them down and don’t discourage them. They might just end up changing the world.

Be open-minded and rely on God as you and your college student slowly and carefully make the steps into moving forward in the future. It won’t be easy for you parents, because it’s hard to see your children grow up and go off on their own. Just be confident in the fact that you raised them to be amazing people and if you trust God, that won’t fail.

Sincerely,

The young adults of those parents

STOP THE CROP TOPS MOVEMENT!

I understand that it can be difficult not to conform in this society...especially living as young women for Christ. I understand that some of the clothes that we see in the stores at the malls can sometimes be appealing or attractive to us, but that doesn't necessarily mean that those clothes are appropriate for us to wear out in public.

We have to remember that our bodies are the temple for the Holy Spirit. In all that we do, we want to bring glory to our Heavenly Father.

It's breaks my heart seeing our sisters in Christ (some believers and unbelievers) dress in a way that allows the opposite sex to lust after them. It breaks my heart that 1. some young women aren't aware of how they're dressing and the wrong signals that it's giving off and 2. some young women know exactly what they're getting into. They know exactly how they look. They like to wear the tight clothes with the booty shorts and with their stomachs exposed. It bothers me a lot, because I just want to tell every young woman out their that they are so beautiful and that they don't have to show all of their goods to get attention from males. I want them to see their worth for what it really is. I want to see the beauty inside of themselves.

I wrote this spoken word in hopes that young women will see that what they're doing to their bodies is not okay. That it's not okay to dress like promiscuous women. It's not okay for men to lust after their bodies like a piece of meat. I want them to see that there are standards that should be set. I want them to see that they are worth so much more than they could even fathom.

So, I am asking you and every other girl out there to take part in this movement and make a point to STOP THE CROP TOPS.

I want this to be a promise that me, you, we, us make between God and ourselves that we will honor, cherish, respect, and love our bodies. I want us to take in all accounts that we are daughters of the King and that we, therefore, should live up to such a wonderful title. Let's show God that we adore Him and obey Him in mind, body, spirit, and truth. So, next time you are tempted to wear an item of clothing that is a little too revealing, remember the promise you made to God and the paper you signed with you signature saying that you will honor your body.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 "Do you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body."

Below is the link to the promise:
*Print it out and hang it on your mirror as a reminder to you every day (:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/15wtkRu84eVIB8nsFOfneo6-2CIp3IkbCS19Sb8PmOP4/edit?usp=sharing

Here is Stop The Crop Tops Spoken Word:

What's More Important?

When it comes to choosing a college, or for parents, when it comes to helping pick out a school for your child, what's more important for them to have? Spiritual growth or academic growth? In most instances, many parents would say that they want their kid to have a healthy balance of growing in their faith and having the best academia world there is. So, what happens when (in the parent's viewpoint) there's only one option to choose from? Do you choose the "lesser" school that has an incredible organization that can help your kid grow deeper with Christ, or do you choose the school that is moving up in rankings just so they can have a "secure" future? In a utopian society, both would be great, but realistically speaking, there's only one option, unless one just knows of a school where there's both involved. If so, great, but for this post, there's only one option.

Currently, I feel as though I'm in that situation where I'm at this "prestigious" school that's known for its small, quaint, liberal arts education where it's almost embedded in every student to speak their mind, to speak up for themselves. In all honestly, I feel like I'm not at college, but rather in a boarding school for all girls that's only less than an hour away from home. (That's besides the point). Anyway, I look around and I see many girls who, I'm guessing, want to do something with their life. Maybe. Maybe not. I'm surrounded by girls who are highly about LGBTQ (something like that), and girls who like to party, smoke, and drink, and girls who just have filthy mouths, especially when it comes to the subject of boys and the usage of their precious bodies. I am not judging anyone here. I accept them all. I love them all. I am simply trying to make a point. No, not all of the girls are like that, but the vast majority that I have seen, are. (I'm just stating my opinion). I feel alone here. I feel lost, and spiritually hungry. Spiritually empty. Granted, there is one or two christian clubs, one that I'm apart of. But, there are certain levels of growth that all christians experience. I seem to be in the in-between stage: I'm not a baby-christian anymore...I know the basics, but I'm also, not up there with let's say Joyce Meyer or Francis Chan lol. Not that I aspire to be like them, it's just for illustration purposes. I seem to be stuck right in the middle where I'm just little ole me. Little ole Ayanna, desperately searching and looking for something more. Yes, I still pray and spend time with God. Yes, I journal. But, I'm looking for that intense growth that helps me and guides me in becoming all who God wants me to be. I want to be trained on how to be a discple. I want to be involved with a group of people, not just my peers, but older adults who are mature in the faith who can mentor and help me. I can't walk this walk alone.

It's hard. It's very hard. And most, if not every day, is very lonely. What I'm looking for, I don't have here. Yes, I have the academics, but is it really all that it's cracked up to be if you're spiritually dead inside? Of course, I see the perfect opportunity for God to use me as His vessel to witness and love on all of these girls around me, but there comes a time where you get burnt out. Where you get weak. Who do you turn to when that happens? To others who don't know me, my life, or my walk? I could potentially go to the girls in the christian club I'm in, yet still, I don't fit in with them either.

This post isn't me throwing a pity party or me complaining about this or that, I'm just trying to make a point and use my life as an example. Would a parent really take the risk in sending their child to a "lesser" school and have the ability to know that they will come out just as spiritually sound and strong as ever? Where's the priority?

To anyone of you beautiful girls that are in the transition of trying to find a college that is best for you, and you care about growing in your faith in Christ, my advice to you is that you try to find somewhere in the middle, a balance. But, if you can't find that, I say pray about your decision on where you should go to school, which should first be done before taking any action. Follow God's guidance. But most importantly, find and/or choose the school where you know you'll be able to flourish as a young soldier in the Lord's Army. Choose a place where they have spiritual, genuinely, Biblical support that will help you in your transition with school, adult life, and spiritual life. It is essential to have that when you're starting out. No, I'm not saying academics aren't important, I'm just trying to convey that you need to be spiritually sound and spiritually challenged wherever you go. You're going to need help in your walk and know that you cannot do it alone. Jesus knew that, that's why we are called the Body of Christ. That's why we have brothers and sisters in Christ. It's always great to strive to do your best, to strive for excellence and achieve greatness, in which you should because we are children of the King, but just be aware about where you want to go and what's really important in your life, and most importantly, be aware about what God is calling you to do. Because if He's saying go this way or go here, go. No matter what people say. (I know it's WAY easier said than done, trust me, but God gives us grace).

Just remember that, in the end, only what we do for Christ will last.

Stay beautiful.

Ayanna

"Little Miss Christian" VS. "A Heart To Live For Christ"

Someone once told me that I try so hard to be "little miss christian" when in fact, I try hard in not being that. Instead, I try hard in being the best I can be...I try hard in being who God wants and created me to be. There's a distinct difference between putting on a front for Jesus and actually getting behind Jesus with all of your brokenness and hope and allowing Him to shine through you. There's a distinct difference, and I, identify with the latter.
It's very difficult, even sometimes, hurtful when other people, who don't know your walk, call you names or blame you for being a hypocrite when in reality, you're just trying to live the best you can for Jesus. You mess up. You make mistakes. You try not to judge and you never try to come off perfect. It hurts and it stings...but in order to combat that negativity, you just have to keep letting Jesus' light shine through you and keep trusting HIM that people may see that it is Jesus who lives inside of you and not your flesh.

How can we make the difference between being "Little Miss Christian" and actually making sure we have a heart to live for Christ? See, it's easy to point fingers at other people. It's easy to say that that person over there isn't really a Christian, or that person shouldn't call herself a Christian, or even that person just goes to church but really she doesn't know Jesus at all by the way she's acting. Truthfully, unless we were asked to help keep that person accountable or they have allowed for us to see what they go through privately, then we cannot say that that person isn't truly living for Christ. Instead of over-evaluating other people, let's evaluate ourselves. "For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." Matthew 7:2. Therefore, we always want to make sure how we're treating others. Are we truly trying to lift up our brothers and sisters in Christ or are we waiting for them to fall so we can say "I told you so" or "I knew you weren't really right with Christ"? Why would we want to treat others so harshly? We have to remember the same way that we talk about people, and judge people is the same way we will be judged by God. We have to be very careful, because just as easy as it is to say a mean comment, it is just as easy to break someone's spirit.

Now, we have to evaluate ourselves. Why do we find ourselves thinking negatively about someone else? Why are we so quick to judge others? Why are we so quick to break another's spirit with our harsh, emotional, heated words? Could it be because we see something in that person that we too, hate to see in ourselves? Could it be that you hate to see the sin inside of you so much that actually seeing it in action infuriates you and you want it to vanish because it reminds you of your very own skeletons in your closet?

We shouldn't be so caught up in being a "perfect Christian". There is no perfect Christian. There is only one perfect man who ever lived, and His name is Jesus. We shouldn't get so caught up in how long we've prayed, or how many times we've went to church this week. What really matters is if we've cried out to God in our personal time and repented and asked for forgiveness. What really matters is if we've fellowshipped with Christ. What really matters is if we're allowing God to flow in us.

A lot of times, we forget that having humility is the best thing to obtain. The best thing to be. Humble. Being prideful is a very dangerous place for you, me, or any of us to be. We always have to be mindful of whether our true heart intentions are of "entitlement" or if they are born out of a servant's heart. Because if we feel like we worship more than others, know more than others, act better than others, then we can find ourselves being labeled under the category of "Little Miss Christian". And that's never a place we want to be. We want people to acknowledge Jesus inside of us rather than others acknowledge the works of our flesh that will remain futile.

I also understand that some people will call you "Little Miss Christian" or a hypocrite because they are blinded by the truth or that they may even feel intimidated by you. Often times, people are watching us very closely, and so when they find us having a not so good day and we slip up, they are quick to tell us that, we're hypocrites, that we shouldn't even claim the name of Christian. I get it. We make mistakes. We even sin on purpose, but we realize our wrong doings, and we get back into fellowship with Christ. There is a distinct difference between thinking that one can do "good" all by themselves and thinking that they can't do it by themselves, so they allow Jesus to step in.

The person who can first be honest with God and then themselves will start to see freedom in their hearts. They will start to see freedom from the feeling of thinking they have to be entitled to something all of the time. They will start to see themselves being able to address heart issues more clearly because they are starting to evaluate the true intentions of their heart.

We may not be able to stop others from telling lives and speaking negativity over us, but we do have the power in Jesus' name to rebuke the devour and anything that tries to attack us. We may not be able to stop others from hurting us or breaking our spirits or calling us hypocrites or whatever else, but we can stand true to the Word of God. We can allow God to be the example through us and we can allow God to do all of the work for us.

If we are careful enough to seek out Christ daily, despite having messed up, despite having intentionally sinned...if we get down on our face and cry out to God and repent, He will help us. He will show us the way. If we pay attention to what's really going on inside of our hearts, we can stop ourselves from becoming "Little Miss Christian" before someone else has the nerve to even claim that over our lives. But, instead, we can proclaim that we are children of God and that we will daily die to our flesh and ask Christ to helps us be a lover after His own heart. He will help mold our hearts into servant's hearts.

We don't have to do it alone. We don't have to fight alone. We don't have to hurt alone. He's there.

So, the next time someone wants to call you falsely out of your name...tell them the truth: "No, I am not perfect. No, I don't always get everything right. And yes, sometimes I do act out of my character, but I am a child of God, and I try my hardest to live for Him. He loves me and He forgives me and I will work to be who He has called me to be every day." We don't owe man an explanation of ourselves. What truly counts is what we think of ourselves, what we think of God, and what God thinks of us.

If you feel tired and worn out by life, pressures, and negativity, I'll give you one thing that Jesus said himself; "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30.

Jesus loves you...don't let others bring you down. Keep your joy. Keep chasing after Jesus and you will be just fine.

Never forget that you are beautiful beyond compare.

Ayanna

D.O.B Website!

Hello lovely ladies!

There is some exciting news!

Depths of Beauty now has a website! You should totally check it out if you like the blogposts that are written here!

www.ayannatillman.wix.com/depthsofbeauty

I believe that God is faithful and as time progresses and I stay in close standing with Him, He will continue to show me the direction He wants this blog...this ministry to go in. Although, I don't post regularly, I am constantly thinking about y'all.

In the meantime, let's make a point to work hard in our every day lives and keep striving after Jesus the hardest we can. He's with us! So we cannot give up!


Stay beautiful!

Ayanna

Why Settle?

Why do we have to settle for less? And when I say settle for less, I mean settle for less than what God has called us to. Why do we have to think that we won't be a success because we don't go to the best, most "prestigious" school? Why do we have to think that we won't be a success because we're not out doing internships and making tons of money in the corporate world? All of the thoughts of what it means to "settle for less" are nothing but thoughts of the world. It's worldly success. It's fleeting. It won't matter in the end.

We can't find ourselves being so consumed by what everyone else thinks that we forget to be consumed by the Word and who God says we are. Society will always tell us we're not good enough. The world will always tell us that living for Christ isn't worth it. They will tell us that we're going down the wrong path and that later down the line when we don't have the fame and fortune we thought we wanted, we'll regret not following the path of the world. We'll regret not living out the envied, covetous "American Dream".

Why should we settle for the desires of the world when the Lord has called us to much more than that? Have you ever heard of the Great Commission? Matthew 28:19, "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit". Is the life Jesus told us to live not worth while? Is the life Jesus called us to live too risky? Too uncomfortable? Too "poor"? Too draining? Too whatever your flesh and the enemy wants to tell you? The very life Jesus has commanded us to live is worth so much more than we can ever imagine. When we give our lives to Christ, we sign up to live for Christ. We sign up for pursuing the Will of God. We sign up for picking up our cross and carrying it no matter how heavy it is. When we finally surrender everything to Christ, we're signing up to say "yes" to Him no matter how unclear the path may look. We blindly go down wherever the path takes us, but our faith operates as our sight. Jesus will never leave us alone when He calls us. He will never leave us alone. Period.

When it comes to living for Christ, it may be hard to fully trust God blindly. It may be hard to stop caring about or worrying about what other people may think of you. There are souls that need to be saving. There are souls that need to know who Jesus is, and those precious souls may never get to know who Jesus is if they don't encounter you. When God sends you...He sends YOU and no one else. You may be able to do the job that nobody else can. Everyone is unique in their own way and not everyone has the same mission. We have to constantly seek Christ with a hunger and thirst. We have to want more and more of Him each day. That means that these worldly desires that we may have, that these dreams that the world says it's important to have to be successful HAS TO GO in order to be a success in the eye's of Christ. We have to think Kingdom Business and remember not to settle for what the world offers, but for what God offers.

Why should we settle for less when we have been called to more?

Internal Conflict | Spoken Word

Hey lovely ladies! I hope you all have been well this summer! I know I haven't posted recently, but that doesn't mean that I don't think about you guys!

I just wanted to share a little something with you guys. I uploaded another video of my spoken word entitled Internal Conflict. Y'all should definitely check it out and tell me what you think! I'm sorry for all of the background noise! One day I plan to learn how to edit and make professional videos so those type of things won't happen!

Have an AMAZING DAY! and never forget that you are beautiful!

Love,

Ayanna

Yay For Encouragement!

Be encouraged today! Life your day with purpose on purpose. With any struggle that you may be facing, always know that God's strength is made perfect in your weakness. So, relax and don't worry. Pray without ceasing and know that Jesus has your back and that He LOVES you oh so much. You are beautiful and you are wonderful. Believe that and walk in that truth today!

I love y'all!

Our Generation Spoken Word

This is a spoken word I wrote about our generation. I wanted to spread some light on some of the things we may struggle with, but I also want y'all to be encourage to get motivated to stay and get on fire for Jesus! Turn up!


Sorry that it's upside down! It should be fixed soon!

Light At The End Of The Tunnel?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-jCRS4046L8

Here is the link to my newest video post..."Where's Your Light At The End Of The Tunnel?"

Where's My Light At Then End Of The Tunnel?

Have you ever been going through life and you look around to see that everyone else's prayers are being answered except your own? Have you ever wondered when will you reach your light at the end of the tunnel? I'm pretty sure we've all come to that melancholy thought...it's like we start to think about when when when when so much, we end up pitying ourselves. That's no good. ha.
Although, I do acknowledge that there is a difference between talking out your problems and complaining about your problems. We always have to be aware of which one we're doing. I do understand that sometimes you just seemed to be so swallowed up by whatever it is that is harboring your heart. I totally get it. But, what I'm starting to realize is that we can't make our problems about us. lol. Y'all are problem giving me the stale face right now. But, yes, we can't make our problems about us...because when we dwell on our problems, we dwell on ourselves which makes ourselves the center of our world and we become self-fish, therefore, we make ourselves gods. Does that make sense?

The longer we tend to solely dwell on our problems, the more we are consumed by ourselves. There's no room for Jesus when we do so. Instead of complaining about our problems, we have to remember, (no matter how hard it is), to pray about our problems instead. We have to take our problems to Jesus because He knows just how to fix them and He knows how to comfort us.

CONFESSION TIME! lol. I am foremost guilty of going to other people first before I go to God. I have definitely been working on that. To be completely honest, things work out better that way. It's like you can come running to God looking a hot mess and He'll clean you up and He'll give you peace. So, it's natural to go to other people before we go to God, but we have to fight that tendency and remember that Jesus is an ever present help.

Back to what I was saying in the beginning...when will your light come when everything seems to be okay and you can "finally be happy"? Well, your light at the end of the tunnel will come when you stop focusing on your problems and whatever else is going on in your life and you start focusing and seeking God more than anything. It'll come when you start to want Him MORE than you "just want to be happy". Your happiness will come when you open up your heart so Jesus can fill you up and heal you from whatever has scarred you. You're probably thinking, "well, what if that person doesn't have their eyes fixed on Jesus?" "What if I AM giving my ALL?"...Well, keeping being faithful to God. He sees you. He hears you. He knows what you're going through. "Take delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." I know it can be hard to see everyone else's lives fall into place. I know it's hard to see everyone else be happy and I know it's hard to see everyone else get exactly what they want.

You can't covet them or be jealous that things are going how they want...you have to be happy for them. It's no fun to have a Debbie-downer around anyway. lol. Forreal though, be happy for other people even IF you aren't happy. BE HAPPY for them because it just might make you feel better on the inside and it just might not only lift their spirit even more but it might lift your spirit to new levels.

While you are waiting for your light to come...be content in the season God has placed you in even if everything around you hurts. Find rest in your Jesus. Don't wallow in depression or in your pity-party, go out and help other people who are less fortunate than you, go out and encourage someone who may be having a bad day. Y'all might just encourage one another and become great friends who encourage each other in the Lord.

Trust me, brighter days are coming, and one day maybe soon, your day will come. It all depends on God's timing. Not your timing. Just remember to be patient and wait on God. Get closer to God during this rough time...many times, in your darkest hour, that's when you find the light you have been searching for for so long. Don't be discouraged love. Don't be sad. Yes, I do know things hurt and situations are tough BUT our God is still an AMAZING God who sees your tears, your fears, your hurts, and your pains. He hears your prayers and don't ever forget that.

Focus on the person God has pre-destined you to be. Focus on the blessings God has given you. Focus on how wonderful, gracious, loving, and caring God is...then you will surely start to see that it's not so difficult to be happy. You'll start to see that your life isn't as bad as it could be. Your light is coming so don't give up. Persevere and put a smile on your face. It could take you very far.

Never forget that you are beautiful beyond measure.

Ayanna

Overcoming the Feeling of Unworthiness

Do you ever have those moments, days, weeks, or even months where you feel like nothing you will ever do will be good enough? Do you feel as though you don't have a purpose or that you aren't worth anything? Have you felt like if you left this world, it would be a better place or that no one would even notice? Well, first off, you are definitely not alone, so don't feel that way! I know exactly what you're going through.

Would you like to know how to overcome these negative thoughts, feelings, and emotions? Great! Just keep reading!

It is human to sometimes have thoughts that make you feel like your life isn't worth anything. Sometimes, you will go through situation that take away all of the strength you could ever have. Do you want to know what makes the difference between a person who is depressed and a person who struggles yet overcomes? Well, the person who is depressed is feeling that way because that person decides to stay depressed. They allow those negative feelings to become masters over them instead of being masters over their depression. When you find yourself in a bad place, in a rut, or you feel like you have found yourself against the wall...fight. You don't have to stay where you are. Life is all about choices. You can choose to be happy. (Yes, I understand that it's not always as easy as it seems. I get it. I've been there; I'm just trying to make a point. lol.)

So, you're feeling unworthy? You're feeling like nothing you do matters?
One of the first steps on overcoming your feeling of unworthiness is by:
asking yourself...1.) Why do I feel unworthy?
Why do you "feel" like nothing you do matters? Could it be because no matter how hard you try in school, your grades are never good enough for your parents? Could it be that no matter how hard you try to fit in those friends you "think" you want as friends won't accept you?

Don't live your life by the approval of other people's opinions. You will only become a slave to them. Looking for others to tell you that you did a good job, or that you're pretty, or that you're awesome at this or that will never give you the satisfaction you're looking for. It will only leave you more empty than what you started off with...so, now, you're in the negative which sucks even more.

2.) You need to ask yourself, "What does the Bible say about me?" "What does God say about me?" "Who does Jesus say I AM?"

-Many times we run so wild and desperate for other people to tell us that we're good enough. We look for people to tell us that they're not going to leave us if/when we mess up. If you live your life based off of those methods, you will constantly be ran dry because what you're looking for is NOT in other people. Your WORTH is NOT in other people. Your parents can't give you the validation you're looking for. Your friends, your cousins, your teachers, your pastors, NO ONE can give you that true validation you're looking for except for in Christ Jesus.

Ephesians 1:11-14 says, "In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, in order that we, who were in the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory. And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession to the praise of his glory."


If you have ever thought that you were born without a purpose, that thought is now false based on the Word. In Ephesians, Paul talks about how we were chosen in God. God chose us BEFORE we were even conceived. We were predestined to take part in God's plan somehow. God works everything out to fulfill the purpose of His will, therefore, all of His children, that's YOU, have been assigned a very special task that only YOU can fulfill for His Kingdom.
It also goes on to say that we were INCLUDED, that means we were purposely added to Christ when we heard God's Holy Word. And since we believed, we have been marked by God and given His precious Holy Spirit...
Although, this verse is somewhat self-explanatory, I want y'all to see that your life isn't meaningless. You're not some mistake. You're not just this person with no purpose, with no meaning. You are EVERYTHING meaningful! God chose us before we were ever even thought of. God had a specific purpose, and plan for our lives and that will never change.

When we feel like our life is worthless, we will still always have a purpose. You are worthy because God is worthy. He saved us from our sin. He died on that cross for us. He has given us the choice of repentance. We can turn from our sin to Christ, so we can abide in Him and so we can fulfill the Call He has placed on our lives!

God knows who you are. He knows what you're feeling. Go to Jesus to find your worth, not to other people. It simply will only make it worse. Go to God if you're feeling down or depressed. Sometimes when we're going through, when we pray that's not a time to talk about all of our feelings to God (although, it's okay to do that) but sometimes, we need to give thanks and praise to God. We just need to acknowledge and reflect on who God is and what He has done for us and that will make you feel so much better.
Even if you've never sang a song to God, just talk to Him. Just tell Him what you're grateful for, and it will make a major difference.


Jeremiah 29:11-14 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the Lord."

God hasn't forgotten about you. Don't ever feel like you're not good enough. Don't ever feel like you don't belong on this earth. You have been crafted so preciously and have been blessed with talents and abilities that can change someone's life. You probably haven't found what your passion is yet. Once you've found your passion, you've found your purpose. You are worth it! Why? Because God said so! If we didn't have a purpose, if we weren't worth any kind of redemption, God never would have sent His son Jesus to die on that cross for us!

Jesus loves you. He wants you to know that your life has a specific meaning. He wants you to know that you are NOT alone and you will never be alone because Jesus is you. Always. Anything that you need, God will be for you, and don't you ever forget that.

So, the next time you feel as though you have no purpose, that you shouldn't be on this earth etc., you just look up to Heaven and you remind yourself who God is. You remind yourself that Jesus loved you SO much that He died just for YOU so that you can live with Him FOREVER!

You should always know that you are BEAUTIFUL and if you ever need a reminder, I'll be here to let you know that.

Ayanna

New Direction

Hey y'all!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9AAk3EOnCA&feature=youtu.be

This is just a video explaining my transition of my blog from Classy Ladies to Depths of Beauty.
I haven't done a video in forever! lol.

But yes, check it out!


Don't forget that you're beautiful if you haven't believed so yet today!

Ayanna

TODAY

If today, you woke up and you felt like a big bowl of crap...

just remember, Jesus is only a prayer away.

Prayer can do wonders and you'll feel so much better after you have done so.

Communicate with your Father today. Let Him know how you feel. He'll help you through your struggles and He won't leave you.

Be strong in the Lord and always go to Him FIRST before you go to anyone else.

Spend some quiet time with Jesus and see what He has to show you.

Trust Him. Always.


You are beautiful.

Ayanna

Who Is Depths Of Beauty For?

Some of you may wonder who exactly is this blog for.

Well, this blog is centered around young women of every kind. Of course, this blog is centered around Jesus Christ and always will be, but this blog is not just for christians.

Anyone who struggles with identity, self-esteem, self-infliction, depression, suicidal thoughts, homosexuality, or even if you feel as though you have it all together. This blog. This ministry is for you.

& of course, I believe every word of the Bible and believe what Jesus said is true and will always be true, and I also want you to know that you can come as you are. You can come to Jesus as you are even if you're not a christian. Jesus will accept you.

Side Note: don't get me wrong, no one makes it to Heaven but by accepting Jesus Christ as their personal Savior and believing that He is the Son of God who died for our sins.

But what I am trying to say is that if you ever just need words of encouragement, comfort, guidance, or just seeking for a place of refuge, or you want to find something different than what the world is offering, this blog is for you.

As young women, I know that we go through so much and sometimes we go through some things where it may seem like no one can possibly understand. With this blog, I hope that you will find something here that encourages you to become better. I hope you will see this as a place where you feel like you are not alone, because you're not. You're not.

We all go through so much. Our lives are very different, but do have one thing in common(if not more): we are daughters of the King, Jesus Christ and He can help us overcome our struggles, our issues, our insecurities. He will help us to become servants and ambassadors for Him.

Together, we will learn to see ourselves the way Jesus sees us, and He sees us as His beautiful children.

You are beautiful. You are loved. You are made in His image, and you are perfect the way you are.

Ayanna

Got Thankfulness?

Hey y'all!



I've been m.i.a for a while...with good reason though, but, that will remain a different story. lol.


So, I live in Georgia and recently, we have come down with this snow storm. It's extremely crazy out there. People were swerving, hydroplaning, getting stuck. I saw people walking in the bitter cold and intense snow. It literally made me thankful that God allowed for me to get home safely to a nice, warm home. It made me think about all of the homeless people downtown...all over. Where in the world would they go in this chaos? No food. No shelter. Just the cold and maybe a thin, torn blanket. The thought of that made me feel convicted. Why did I feel convicted instead of sad, worried, or concerned over all else? Convicted is what my heart felt.



I felt convicted because sometimes I let some of the most important things slip to the back burner of my mind. I get caught up with the situations and frustrations that I'm going through that I forget to thank God for the things that I am NOT going through. Someone out there, some where has it so much worse than I do and yet, I complain. Yet, I'm still not satisfied because things don't go how I originally planned.

FYI: When things don't go your way...it's okay because God has a plan. It may not happen on your time or when you think or how it's going to happen, but if you're called to it, you will get to it. Being delayed could be the very thing you need so God can continue to work through you so He then can elevate you once you get to where has called you.



We have to learn how to consistently praise and thank God in the midst of trials and wonderings. We have to remember that this life we are living is so much greater than we can imagine. Even when we aren't aware, other people are still watching us. We have a bigger impact than sometimes we would care to have. Someone's salvation is always at stake and we have to remember that.



When we start to lose our thankfulness and we start to fall away from daily prayer and communication with God, we cut our spirits off from that River Of Life that we so desperately need to survive and thrive. We should never be so caught up in pride where we fail to go to God in prayer and ask Him to help us. We should never think that God won't be there so we have to rely on ourselves for help. Or we should never get upset with God over the things that He promised and showed us aren't going how WE planned them. If they are God's promises and plans, then they will happen on HIS time. We can't rush God. We can't rush our spiritual growth. Sometimes we're delayed to get to our calling because we aren't spiritually ready. Why would God elevate us in our calling and we're not ready to deal with everything that goes along with it? We have to remember to take it one step at a time, and with each step, we always have to remember to be thankful that God is allowing for us to make it to another step. Jesus always works in the details, and that is something we cannot afford to miss.



Along with God's calling comes patience, and before we can get to the calling, we have to develop patience, strong faith, perseverance, and most times, we just have to CHILL out. That's all. It's that simple.


As you're reading this, and you're laying down or listening to music, reading your bible, whatever it is, let's just be aware that we don't have to be where we are. We don't have to have the life that we live. Someone, somewhere always has less than what you have, so you have to be grateful. Let's possess a spirit of gratefulness. It'll carry us far. We're not entitled to anything. Everything God gives, He can surely take it away. Be purposeful with the talents, gifts, and abilities God has given you. Do something great for the Kingdom. Always.



Never forget that you are beautiful.


Ayanna

Captivated By Fear?

Have you ever had this dream lingering in your heart and whenever you would tell someone, they'd shoot you down and tell you that it's crazy or that you should dream something else because it's not going to happen?

Have you ever wanted to accomplish something that you felt so deeply in your heart about and you got so close, but you stopped yourself because you let the spirit of fear overtake you and you ended up backing out?



Well, I don't know about you, but I've gone through situations such as those and to be honest, I'm going through a situation like that right now.
A situation where the outcome and process can be so scary because you have people against you or your thoughts are against you and you'd rather back down than face the giant of fear.
Yeah, it's not easy...so how do we overcome fear? because we definitely cannot let it run our lives. We have too much in store for us!

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6

The bible is filled with MANY verses and passages on not fearing. But, I think I want to discuss on this today. The beginning of Deuteronomy 31 basically talks about how God was telling the people to go ahead and cross the Jordan river by themselves, because Moses, who was now 120 had gotten too old to lead anymore. So, the Lord was like alright, y'all since Moses can't lead, y'all need to cross the river by y'allself but before you do, I will cross over before you to make sure everything is good and chill. Now consider, this is before Joshua is appointed as leader to lead the people into the Promised Land, so of course the people are going to be a little scared about what's going to happen.

The Lord was telling everyone to be strong, and not to be terrified about any possible enemies or attacks because He is with them. God reassures the people that He is not going to go anywhere. He will not let anything happen to His children.

How does this apply to us? Well, it applies to us because sometimes when we have somewhere we either want or know we need to get to and God has already told us before hand that He is with us and that He's not going to let anything happen to us, we still freak out and doubt God. We get scared of the unknown and what exactly is going to happen as we are working hard to get to that thing we want to accomplish. Sometimes, we don't even step a foot out in front of the other because we set our focus off of God and we fill ourselves up with so many doubts and what-ifs. We forget that God told us that everything was going to be fine...that God is with us.

Instead of operating in fear, we have to learn how to operate in faith no matter how scary the road may seem. "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me." Psalm 23:4

Sometimes, we become afraid to go through a little trial and tribulation because we don't know what's going to happen to us while we go through it, but don't we know the Lord has our hand every step of the way? Even though we are going through a dark, dark, scary valley (which is only temporary), we have the amazing option not to fear anything that could ever harm us because God has our back. He does and He always will.

When we learn to surrender our fear or whatever else we struggle with, God will replace that with His joy, peace, love, boldness, faith. You have to know that you have already won the victory. You have to know that since you belong to God, you are ALREADY equipped to face your situations BOLDY by faith.

It's difficult, and it may be harder than we ever could have anticipated but we have to trust God in every circumstance. Because if we choose not to trust God, it's like us saying yeah, Lord, I want to overcome this but I'm not going to let you help me. What kind of sense does that make? If we know God can deliver us from whatever it is, we have to actually LET Him do what He needs to do while we wait patiently for Him and do our part.

Don't become a slave to fear, anger, sadness, depression or whatever else the enemy throws at you. Proclaim that you already have the victory and that you WILL and ALREADY have gotten through the toughest part yet. God has your back. Be free in Him. If you really want God to take away your fear, ask Him. Spend time and prayer and you'll be amazed at just what He does in your life.

Never forget that you are beautiful. Always.

Ayanna