Someone once told me that I try so hard to be "little miss christian" when in fact, I try hard in not being that. Instead, I try hard in being the best I can be...I try hard in being who God wants and created me to be. There's a distinct difference between putting on a front for Jesus and actually getting behind Jesus with all of your brokenness and hope and allowing Him to shine through you. There's a distinct difference, and I, identify with the latter.
It's very difficult, even sometimes, hurtful when other people, who don't know your walk, call you names or blame you for being a hypocrite when in reality, you're just trying to live the best you can for Jesus. You mess up. You make mistakes. You try not to judge and you never try to come off perfect. It hurts and it stings...but in order to combat that negativity, you just have to keep letting Jesus' light shine through you and keep trusting HIM that people may see that it is Jesus who lives inside of you and not your flesh.
How can we make the difference between being "Little Miss Christian" and actually making sure we have a heart to live for Christ? See, it's easy to point fingers at other people. It's easy to say that that person over there isn't really a Christian, or that person shouldn't call herself a Christian, or even that person just goes to church but really she doesn't know Jesus at all by the way she's acting. Truthfully, unless we were asked to help keep that person accountable or they have allowed for us to see what they go through privately, then we cannot say that that person isn't truly living for Christ. Instead of over-evaluating other people, let's evaluate ourselves. "For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." Matthew 7:2. Therefore, we always want to make sure how we're treating others. Are we truly trying to lift up our brothers and sisters in Christ or are we waiting for them to fall so we can say "I told you so" or "I knew you weren't really right with Christ"? Why would we want to treat others so harshly? We have to remember the same way that we talk about people, and judge people is the same way we will be judged by God. We have to be very careful, because just as easy as it is to say a mean comment, it is just as easy to break someone's spirit.
Now, we have to evaluate ourselves. Why do we find ourselves thinking negatively about someone else? Why are we so quick to judge others? Why are we so quick to break another's spirit with our harsh, emotional, heated words? Could it be because we see something in that person that we too, hate to see in ourselves? Could it be that you hate to see the sin inside of you so much that actually seeing it in action infuriates you and you want it to vanish because it reminds you of your very own skeletons in your closet?
We shouldn't be so caught up in being a "perfect Christian". There is no perfect Christian. There is only one perfect man who ever lived, and His name is Jesus. We shouldn't get so caught up in how long we've prayed, or how many times we've went to church this week. What really matters is if we've cried out to God in our personal time and repented and asked for forgiveness. What really matters is if we've fellowshipped with Christ. What really matters is if we're allowing God to flow in us.
A lot of times, we forget that having humility is the best thing to obtain. The best thing to be. Humble. Being prideful is a very dangerous place for you, me, or any of us to be. We always have to be mindful of whether our true heart intentions are of "entitlement" or if they are born out of a servant's heart. Because if we feel like we worship more than others, know more than others, act better than others, then we can find ourselves being labeled under the category of "Little Miss Christian". And that's never a place we want to be. We want people to acknowledge Jesus inside of us rather than others acknowledge the works of our flesh that will remain futile.
I also understand that some people will call you "Little Miss Christian" or a hypocrite because they are blinded by the truth or that they may even feel intimidated by you. Often times, people are watching us very closely, and so when they find us having a not so good day and we slip up, they are quick to tell us that, we're hypocrites, that we shouldn't even claim the name of Christian. I get it. We make mistakes. We even sin on purpose, but we realize our wrong doings, and we get back into fellowship with Christ. There is a distinct difference between thinking that one can do "good" all by themselves and thinking that they can't do it by themselves, so they allow Jesus to step in.
The person who can first be honest with God and then themselves will start to see freedom in their hearts. They will start to see freedom from the feeling of thinking they have to be entitled to something all of the time. They will start to see themselves being able to address heart issues more clearly because they are starting to evaluate the true intentions of their heart.
We may not be able to stop others from telling lives and speaking negativity over us, but we do have the power in Jesus' name to rebuke the devour and anything that tries to attack us. We may not be able to stop others from hurting us or breaking our spirits or calling us hypocrites or whatever else, but we can stand true to the Word of God. We can allow God to be the example through us and we can allow God to do all of the work for us.
If we are careful enough to seek out Christ daily, despite having messed up, despite having intentionally sinned...if we get down on our face and cry out to God and repent, He will help us. He will show us the way. If we pay attention to what's really going on inside of our hearts, we can stop ourselves from becoming "Little Miss Christian" before someone else has the nerve to even claim that over our lives. But, instead, we can proclaim that we are children of God and that we will daily die to our flesh and ask Christ to helps us be a lover after His own heart. He will help mold our hearts into servant's hearts.
We don't have to do it alone. We don't have to fight alone. We don't have to hurt alone. He's there.
So, the next time someone wants to call you falsely out of your name...tell them the truth: "No, I am not perfect. No, I don't always get everything right. And yes, sometimes I do act out of my character, but I am a child of God, and I try my hardest to live for Him. He loves me and He forgives me and I will work to be who He has called me to be every day." We don't owe man an explanation of ourselves. What truly counts is what we think of ourselves, what we think of God, and what God thinks of us.
If you feel tired and worn out by life, pressures, and negativity, I'll give you one thing that Jesus said himself; "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30.
Jesus loves you...don't let others bring you down. Keep your joy. Keep chasing after Jesus and you will be just fine.
Never forget that you are beautiful beyond compare.
Ayanna
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