Fed Up With Fake Friends?

"Fed Up With Fake Friends??"

(For those of you who weren't quite sure about this picture, it is a picture of a girl pretending to console her friend but really wish she was eleswhere spending her time. lol her face is funny)

I am pretty sure we have all had that friend or friends who have said to us, "I'll be here for you, I promise." or "you can talk to me about ANYTHING" or "I got your back." or even "I would never turn my back on you." Many of us have become so scarred because of all the promises and words our "friends" have claimed to say to us, but they ended up leaving us or talking bad behind our backs. Now, even when a new friend comes along, and they tell you one of the phrases mentioned above, it's hard not to think "lies, lies, lies." all in your head. The reason we think this is because that's what we're used to. That is all we have come to know. So, it is hard for us, especially young ladies, to believe anything a potential friend has to say to us, unless they have proven themselves worthy of their word.

Fake friends are everywhere, and it is hard to distinguish who is ginuine and who is fake now these days because so many people can act very well. And many times, especially for females, friendships can take the wrong road very quickly, and as soon as a friend is made, they are turned into an enemy. So, how do we tell who is real and who isn't? How do we know who we can trust and who we can't? It is good to ask these questions to yourself so you can evaluate the authencity of your friendship, but it is even better to ask yourselves, "Am I good friend?" "Can my friends trust me?" "Do my friends think I am worthy of my word?" "Do I prove myself to be ginuine?" Not only do we have to be aware of the friendships we are making, but we also have to be aware of what kind of friend we actually are. Because the kind of love, ginuiness, listening, consoling you put into the friendship, the same thing you will receieve. So, in most cases you cannot be mad if your friend is not pulling their part of the bargain, if you're not pulling your own.

Let me address the ones who claim to have "soo many friends". Honey child, all those "friends" you claim to have, well, all of them are not your friends to tell you the truth. Most of them either don't care about you. Most of them aren't friends with you because of you and your precious heart and personality. If you're popular, some of them just might want to be a part of the spotlight you're in. There could be a whole list of reasons why some of those many friends aren't really your friends. If you're tired of having friends who say they are going to be there for you no matter what and they NEVER come through, you have to evaluate if those friends are worth keeping.

Every friendship should be filled with PURPOSE. We should never want a friend that will not build us up in Christ, or want a friend who we are not equally yolked with, and we shouldn't want a friend just because of the material things that they posses. As christians, we should always be intentional about the things we do, and we should always strive to do EVERYTHING with purpose. And even if you're popular, and you have a lot of friends who are only with you because of the fame and you know it, I advise you to choose PURPOSE OVER POPULARITY. In the long run, they won't be worth it. And in the long run, when you run into some struggles, like all christians do, the ones who run from you, you will know to let go. And the ones who remain loyal to you, you should keep.

Have discernment of the Holy Spirit to know which friendships you should keep and which ones you should let go. Hvaing extra baggage is never any fun, and it won't help you grow. Yes, sometimes letting go of a friendship can hurt sometimes, but if they're not making you a better person by hanging out with them, or if they're not encouraging you in the Lord, and they're causing you to sin, I think it's about time you put your priorities in check. My dad always told me this saying that I will never ever forget. He has always told me, "Show me your friends, and I'll show you your future." That has truth to it. Your surroundings and your atmosphere can dictate the things you do and accomplish in your life. Friendships have a bigger influence on you than you realize. That is why we always have to be cautious about the friends that we choose to have, and the friends that we choose to hang out with or get involved with.

Proverbs 18:24, "A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."

It is MY personal opinion, that there is no such thing as having A LOT of friends. I believe you can have A LOT of AQUAINTANCES, but never a lot of friends. Plus, it is always better to have a small group of close, God-fearing, ginuine friends, than a bunch of friends who will leave you at the slightest mountain. The older you get, the less and less your circle will become. Besides, when you get older, things change. People change. Purposes change. Priorities change. It's just a fact of life. Especially as a christian. Not everyone can go where God has ordained you to go.

It is very simple, if you're fed up with fake friends, or you're tired of being abandoned by the ones who claim they care about, just LET IT GO. Yes, it will be difficult when you first start off, but God will show you better companions that you can have that will help you with your Walk, and help encourage you and guide you down that narrow path. Besides, if you really desire for any friendship of yours to last, put God first, and let God be the center of EVERYTHING you do, and everything else will all fall into place.

Yes, my love. It is that simple.

& never forget, Jesus will always be your friend, your BESTfriend when all else fails. People WILL fail you because they are human and they are not perfect, but Jesus will never let you down. You can trust in Jesus. HE will be there for you. He's a friend that sticks closer than a brother, and He is so special, and so sweet. Try Him out. He's a friend you'll never lose, and a friend you'll never want to get rid of. (; Because once you get with Jesus, you'll never go back!

I charge you to reevaluate your friendships, and to really think about if you're really a true friend yourself. Be ginuine. Be kind. And always show love in everything that you do.

Always keep it calm, cool, and collected...for Jesus!

Ayanna Tillman